blargblog
An expulsive extension of
I sometimes turn the television on while making toast or something, catch a few minutes of something I wouldn't ordinarily watch. Yesterday I turned the TV on for one such snippet and got an eyeful of a SciFi Channel miniseries sequel to Robocop called Robocop: Prime Directives.
Holy Jeezus, it was awful. There were two Robocops fighting an unlimited stream of anonymous black-clad badguys on black, machine-gun equipped BMX motorbikes. And by unlimited, I mean this scene seemed to go on for ten minutes, with one BMX biker getting mowed down after another, or crashing and going "WHOOOOAAA!" while flying head over heels over exploding barrels, crates, and rusty abandoned cars. Shocked and awed Rumsfeldian by this awesome spectacle of lo-budget spew, I decided to go to the Internet Movie Database to learn a bit more. And what I discovered was troubling indeed. It turned out that someone had documented the whole damn thing, written one review per installment of the miniseries, and the dude was totally stoked! His over-the top praise for the miniseries was, in the end, slightly safer to read than injuring the eyeballs with exposure to the actual show, and so I took it all in, against the better judgement, and subjected myself to subtly stinging brain damage by reading this man's seductive synopsis of yet another supremely shitty sequel.
Some excerpts (emphasis mine):
This last part of this movie has a great car chase scene between RoboCop and other police officers. I think it's the best filmed car chase sequence in the entire six-hour movie.
RoboCop and RoboCable really go at it in this part of the movie. It's just one fight scene after another. There's a lot of property damage while they're battling it out, another sign that the people working on this movie used their budget intelligently.
Damian Lowe seems to have gone completely insane with his position in OCP. It's not a psycho-nervous must-kill-everyone type of insanity. It's very subtle, but you know it's there. He turns against almost everyone, but they're already against him.
You can read the rest of Ray Tenvon's complete episode-by-episode review of Robocop: Prime Directives here.
I'm a chick. I don't wanna' I don't hafta' I ain't gonna'. Now, if you'll excuse me, The Golden Girls marathon is on. :p
Posted by: Amy S. at April 11, 2004 12:35 PMThey did have an interesting made-for-TV-movie on the other day about a distopian future where chicks were forced to watch bad sci-fi. In the end they rebelled and subjugated the W.M.N.C. (White Male Nerd Council), sentencing them to watch "Judging Amy" and "Oprah: After the Show" 24-hours a day.
Posted by: J. Pinkham at April 11, 2004 04:40 PMI guess I'm glad I didn't set TiVo to watch it.
Fortunately, there's lots more crap out there!