blargblog

Dialectical Hypothesis

When I break wind yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who breaks wind next to you
When I pass gas yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who passes gas along to you
If I cut cheese yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who saves a slice for you
And if I butt trumpet yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's soloin' for you
But I would fart 500 times
And I would fart 500 more
Just to be the man who farted 1,000 times
And sent you running out the door.

When I'm squeakin' yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's squeakin' hard for you
And when my intestines fill with the food I chew
I'll pass almost every vapor on to you
When I erupt yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who erupts just for you
And if I smell bad, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's smellin' bad to you
When I'm beanin' yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's cookin' chili just for you
When we're campin' yes I know I'm gonna be
Silent and deadly as a rabid caribou
But I would fart 500 times
And I would fart 500 more
Just to be the man who farted 1,000 times
And sent you running out the door.